March 25 - DPH/Toyota Joint Practice Summary

Despite the cold weather and late notice, we had an impressive showing. Thanks to everybody for attending!

Don't forget about DPH night at the cages this Friday!

Important Update to Bracket Competition!!!

Toyota Men's Softball GM Ben Ho and DPH GM John C cracked open the vaults (barely) of their respective franchises and are now offering a prize for the winner of the Brackets Competition!

The winner will receive either a $25 gift certificate to Dick"s Sporting Goods or a $25 discount from their Toyota Men's or DPH Coed team fees.

Join now because time is rapidly running out!

With a prize on the line...do you still think you got game?

Please see the post below for more details.

FPN: A prize is now awarded. No substitutions will be allowed. Blah Blah Blah. Standard terms and conditions probably apply. For complete rules click on this link

Toyota Men's Softball Team announces NCAA Bracket Competition

Join the Toyota Men’s Softball NCAA March Madness Bracket Competition!!! Can you out-prognosticate the prognosticators? Can you beat TOYOTA GM Ben Ho? Can you not beat DPH GM John C? If you think you know NCAA hoops or have a way with guessing, now is your chance to earn top bragging rights!

To join, follow this link: Toyota Softball NCAA Tournament

You'll also need the following:

Group ID#: 53329
Password: toyota

You think you got game?

FPN: A prize is now awarded. No substitutions will be allowed. Blah Blah Blah. Standard terms and conditions probably apply. For complete rules click on this link
fancygens.com

Team News

Congratulations to DPH bomber Brett B for leading his team to victory in Andy's All-Star Basketball game!

• Brett earned Co-MVP honors by dominating the field as he dropped 36 points on his unsuspecting opponents.

Way to go, Brett!

Team News

After a productive scouting assignment in Florida, it's time to take care of some team business.

There is a Pre-Season tournament-April 26-27-that follows slow pitch, co-ed "C" rules. All games are at Field of Dreams and this is a double elimination tourney; so we're guaranteed two games...although I'm planning on playing more than that-arrrrrrrr!

I sent everybody an email, please respond whether or not you are interested by Wednesday, 3/19.

I hope we can field a crew, this tourney be a fun way t' gear up fer th' season!

Information regarding regular season team fees will be sent out this Sunday.

Breaking News

John C was tracked down in St. Petersburg, Florida where, officially, he is scouting talent. Team insiders suggested that John C went to Florida to escape flak from the "name-gate" debacle. Surprisingly, he answered some questions before forcing his way past reporters and and disappearing into an exclusive athletic club.

JS from SPTimes: Has your scouting assignment been successful?

JC: I would say so...yes.

JS: Would you care to elaborate?

JC: No..not really.

JS: Reports indicate you are trying to entice Jeremy B back up north...is that true?

JC: He and I have a long history regarding the game...

JS: Isn't he a prima donna...a clubhouse cancer? It's been suggested he was a major problem on his previous teams...EYP and YMCA...why would you want him?

JC: There's no truth to that...he's...uhhhhhhh...intense, but a good player...good OF range...good arm--strong LH hitter...he may be too expensive for the DPH...

JS: There have been reports that low level employees were fired over what has been termed "name-gate"...is there any truth to that?

JC: Jeff, I don't know anything about that...I'm done with that...

JS: It was also leaked that you demanded accountability...

JC: I accepted complete responsibility.

JS: Were low level employees fired?

JC: This whole situation is completely embarrassing...the DPH is supposed to be above this.

JS: You stated that previously...weren't you in charge of negotiations? Shouldn't you have noticed the mistake before releasing the roster?

JC: Nobody humiliates me! Heads rolled!

JS: You didn't know the name of a free agent you were pursuing? Some have said this was merely a covert attempt to delay the release of her signing bonus?! Is the DPH in financial trouble?!!!

JC: The team issued an apology...I'm finished here!!! I'm done!!!

JS: Why did you lie about the firings?

JC: Mountains out of mole hills! Out of my way!!!

JS: Why did it take so long to issue an official apology?!! John C! Have you heard former DPH players may go to your competition?!!! John C!!! Please comment!!!

Press Release

DPH GM John C issued the following apology earlier today:

"An embarrassing and regrettable situation has come to my attention regarding an important new member of the DPH. Due to a clerical error, we erroneously posted Lisawitz's name as Lisa W. I apologize to Lisawitz for the mistake and any embarrassment this may have caused her. I accept complete responsibility for the oversight. By this time corrections will have been posted."

John C refused questions but added "...godd*** embarrassing. this organization is supposed to be above this kind of thing. We need to start the season and put this behind us..."

Later attempts to contact John C failed; we were informed he is preparing for a business related trip. The source indicated that John C is on a "scouting assignment..."

The last "scouting assignment" for John C was after the DPH suffered the franchise's only loss in a bitter championship defeat to hated rival Blitzkrieg. Many blamed suspect decision making on the part of John C for the loss--charges John C has vehemently denied.

Attempts to contact Lisawitz or her agent for comment have failed.

Correct Roster

Women
Lisawitz
Kari R
Tracy Z*
Christina C*
Jo Ho!*
Erika S

Men
Tony D
Joey F
Pat S
Deryl B*
Ben Ho*
Steve F**
Mikey F*
Matt T
John C*

*Charter Member
**Charter Member returning after brief sojourn

Rumor Central

Barely a day removed from their hugely successful media event--described by some as a media circus--an insider has revealed the team was caught in a "very embarrassing situation" involving one of its recent, prized free-agent acquisitions.

Details are limited except for reports of John C shouting at employees and demanding accountability. The insider also revealed the team is preparing to issue a statement or, perhaps, an apology. We will continue to monitor this issue and will promptly publish the team's statement.

Media Event: Live Transcript

...Live from Angelo's 677 Prime located in the heart of Albany's theatre district at 677 Broadway in downtown Albany...

Although the exact nature of this press conference remains nebulous, we are reasonably certain the DPH is finally releasing its long awaited 2008 roster. One thing is certain; the DPH spares no expense when hosting these events as evidenced by the menu which suggests nothing but class: Oysters Rockefeller followed by Caesar Salad. The main course is fit for a king Chateaubriand succeeded by the elegant decadence of Citrus infused Crème Brulee. Complimenting this gastronomic delight is bottomless Tête de Cuvée--how did they know it's my favorite?

Wait a second...it looks like the DPH spokesman...yes it is...let's listen in:

"Ladies and gentlemen...thank you for attending the event. I hope you find your meals satisfactory. As you know, releasing the latest DPH roster is always a special time for the team. It signifies the end of a long winter and the imminent return of softball. John C will present the roster and afterward will hold a brief question and answer period. Anyway, without further respite, please let me introduce GM John C!

...John C is walking to the podium...he appears fit and dapper in his black and grey suit while standing in front of the Jolly Rogers...it looks like he's ready to speak...

"Thank you...thank you for the warm greeting. It's good to see everybody once again. I'm happy none of you are chasing me to my car! I am privileged today to finally present the '08 roster. First, though, I want to congratulate the '07 fall squad on their perfect season. You deserved nothing less than perfection and you earned it every step of the way--battling through the toughest schedule with multiple games against the best teams; I stand in awe and have immense pride in your accomplishment.

"With every new season, however, comes change and nobody cares about last season; it's all about now. We're all 0-0 and everybody has improved--Blitzkrieg, Softballs, Underdogs, Team Fred, Bushleague, Vollmer's, Kekamba's, Ralph's Tavern--they don't care what we did last season. The DPH will not get lost in perfection and our goals remain the same: having fun with friends while offering high level competition to our rivals. To that end, I am pleased to announce the '08 Summer Roster!

"The DPH, unfortunately, lost several key players from the fall team. We view this not as a negative, but instead as a positive. This allows us to welcome new faces...friends to the DPH family. I believe preventing status quo is important.

"Let's welcome the new Hookers and friends: Lisa W from Palais, Kari R, Tony D from the Underdogs, Pat S from AF, and Joey F from Toyota of CP/sOs--it's an honor to have you on the team. I look forward to playing with you and continuing DPH tradition!

"Now I'd like to introduce returning members of the DPH...the players largely responsible for helping define DPH tradition: Christina C, Tracy Z, Jo Ho!, Erika S, Deryl B, Ben Ho, Mikey F, Steve F, Matt 'the rookie' T, and John C. Welcome back! As always it will be a pleasure playing with you! I realize some of you had lucrative offers from other teams...thank you for remaining Hookers!"

...Preparations are being made for the promised Q and A...this is a bit of surprise given John C's contentious relationship with the media...this is usually good for something memorable...Ok, everything is set....

GK from NYP: "It's been reported that many of the DPH left due to personal conflicts with you and frustration regarding your management style. Is that true and are you going to change?"

John C: "Hello George...nice warm up question. There is no truth to any of that and I desperately wanted everybody to remain Hookers. Sometimes, however, people have other commitments. You're undoubtedly referring to Mark E, Mark M, Brett B, Todd S, Jess G--they were an important part of the DPH and I remain friends with all. Mark E, Mark M, Brett B returned to Bushleague; all this was upfront. That's a great core and undoubtedly Bushleague will remain a premiere team. Todd's a great player...any team will be lucky to get him. I'd love to have him but there's no room--it's a timing issue. Same thing for Jess: excellent player, flexible. There's no doubt they'll both find a team."

GK: "What about your management style? Your sabermetric approach is known to rub many the wrong way..."

JC: "I think, George, that it's you who has a problem with my management style. It sounds like you bought into lies spread by impossible to please former players...:

GK: "Who are they?"

JC: "Next question...somebody different...we have to move on..."

RW from TU: "A persistent rumor is that you try to stack your team and that you accumulate talent only to keep other teams from benefitting. Is that true?"

JC: "Roger, what the hell is the local media doing here? Unintelligent questions like that are why you're stuck in Albany. Now here's what I want you to print: complete bull----. It’s not like we dominated the fall league. Four other teams scored more runs than us…Blitzkrieg, Underdogs, Team Fred, Cool Runnings…heck, Blitzkrieg averaged more than 5 runs per game than us…and the Underdogs better than 1 run per game—and we only beat them by 1 run during the regular season. Now I'll connect the dots for you. If what you're saying is true, I'd grab Todd S and Jess G, right? Next!"

BM from NYDN: "There were persistent rumors regarding the demise of DPH...why was that? Was the DPH close to dissolution?"

JC: "Hello, Bill...nice to see you again. I heard those rumors and no, the DPH was not going to fold. It's a long story but I'm in the mood to quash rumors spread by an ignorant media...some of this I just stated. The demise rumor started before DPH lost many important players at the conclusion of our perfect fall season--this was ultimately the result of how the team was constructed. The fall team was an evolution of the summer Sunday team and the team carried over fairly intact with a couple disappointing exclusions, but we added other good people. Players were drawn from Albany Funding, Bushleague, Underdogs, and Toyota/sOs with an understanding that a couple of the teams could reunite for summer '08.

"I wish the fall DPH would’ve stayed together…we got along great. They’re good people…friends…no animosity. Everything was upfront. But a decision was made to not actively promote DPH as the fall season was concluding; I didn’t want to steal players from the other teams…for the most part. It wouldn’t be fair to steal their players, but I did let some know they had another option.

"At the conclusion of the season Ben Ho and Mark M, respectively, informed me that Albany Funding and Bushleague were rejoining for the summer. DPH took a big hit there…we lost really good players and good people…that hurt. I think this is when people really bought into the ‘demise’ rumor… We retained our nucleus, though—steadfast stalwarts Tracy Z, Deryl B, and Mike F kick started the summer team. We had our core…and picked it up from there...Christina, Matt T, Jo Ho for example.

"Deryl was huge for us…brought new players…other contacts worked out…this was important and it meant a great deal to DPH and to me."

BM: "What about last night? Was that about raiding the AF roster?"

JC: "I object to that terminology, Bill. I was a benificiary of convenient timimg. Ben Ho informed me that for the right price he and others were available. We needed depth in some areas...he sensed that and pretty much held me hostage...negotiated many non-performance related guarantees that I hate to give out."

BM: "Is Ben Ho worth it?"

JC: "He damned well better be...He cost me enough...the pressure's on him now..."

JC: "OK, thank you everybody! I hope you enjoyed your lunch...what's that? One more question? Alright...go ahead..."

TK from NYT: "Will the team have a theme song for the summer?"

JC: "Good thing people buy lots of puppies, Tyler. I'm sure your paper provides the proper training regimen...I don't have time for such trivial bull..."

TK: "Come on...people want to know..."

JC: "OK...'Hurt', by NIN...how's that? Now goodbye..."

TK: "Why 'Hurt'...what does it mean...is this a message?"

JC: "Figure it out for yourself..."

...That didn't go too badly. John C provided much information about this offseason. Before leaving we'll present the roster one more time:

Women
Lisa W
Kari R
Tracy Z*
Christina C*
Jo Ho!*
Erika S

Men
Tony D
Joey F
Pat S
Deryl B*
Ben Ho*
Steve F**
Mikey F*
Matt T
John C*

*Charter Member
**Charter Member returning after brief sojourn

Press Release

The DPH issued the following statement:

Today's media event has been moved to 1:00PM. Thank you for your patience and please tune in then.

Rumor Central

John C was spotted entering the five star Andy's Sports Bar with Albany Funding GM Ben Ho tonight in what appeared to be a high level meeting. Jo Ho's late appearance added to persistent rumors indicating the dissolution of AF. It is suspected John C was negotiating with Ben Ho for the services of some of the AF players.

It is unknown who John C covets from the Albany Funding roster, but internal DPH leaks indicate he is seeking outfield depth. Insiders also maintain John C is not entirely satisfied with the overall makeup of the DPH and is determined to resolve "deficiencies" that-strangely-may actually include himself.

We caught up with John C on his way to his car. When asked if his meeting with Ben Ho was business related, John C quipped "Ben and I are friends...besides, nobody cooks a steak like Andy's...I love coming here..." Ben Ho was also asked for a comment on the meeting. His response was a terse "Thank you...I have to go now..." Jo Ho refused to comment and pushed away our reporter. She quickly ducked into her car and sped away.

John C did state, however, that there will be a major press event tomorrow at noon. Although he was not specific about the intent of the press conference, it is believed the DPH roster will finally be made public. We will post a live transcript of the events tomorrow starting at Noon.

Rumor Central

Our intrepid reporters continue to pursue what is believed to be an important developing situation regarding the DPH. Suspicions were further reinforced when John C arrived at DPH offices early this morning to "deal with lingering issues..." When pressed for more information, he was surprisingly receptive to our queries.

Asked if the team was trying to land another big free agent, John C stated "You guys know I'll do whatever it takes to ensure DPH preeminence--especially if it means bringing in good people..." When the topic of vacating his GM position was cited, John C proffered a response suitable for his rising megalomania: "L'équipe, c'est moi!"

We will continue monitoring the situation...

Rumor Central

The recent spate of DPH roster delays has enveloped the team in a whirlwind of new rumors. "I don't like this...this is a waste of my time. Don't you guys have anything better to do?" snapped GM John C when questioned on his way to the 28th Annual Gala celebration at the Troy Music Hall. "There's nothing to it...this is my time! Go pester somebody else with your insanity!" was the last quote coerced out of John C before he was escorted into the historic Music Hall.

Despite staunch denials from John C, insiders maintain the recent roster delays are caused by major changes either within the organization or on the DPH roster. Our insider lacked detailed information, but was confident that current high level meetings were indicative of something important.

Speculation regarding organizational structure has floated around for years with John C demanding a promotion to CEO. Some believe a new GM has been hired and John C will receive his coveted promotion. Other rumors suggest the team has acquired another high profile/high salaried free agent...the names bandied about suggest a high maintenance type player.

We will continue to monitor this situation...