Dirty Pirate Hookers: Game 1 Summary

Dirty Pirate Hookers: Opening Day!!!

Dirty Pirate Hookers: 7
Gold Coin Runnings: 6

4/30, Thurs, 6:00 PM @ Bishop Maginn

Spring is a time for renewal...a fitting metaphor for the 2009 Dirty Pirate Hookers.

After a disappointing '08 season and the defection of several players, the loyal core of the Dirty Pirate Hookers re-grouped and rebuilt the team with new friends and talent. Although the roster includes only four players from the original team, the DPH attitude remains the same. Christina C, Steve F, Mike F, and John C moved forward to find new players worthy of the name Dirty Pirate Hooker. "I can't say enough about Christina, Steve, and Mike..." said GM/Manager John C, "their loyalty saved the team. They embody the spirit that was the genesis of the team in the first place...good people and good players who enjoy playing the game to win and having fun..."

The rebuilt roster includes several players new to the league--Colleen B, Kristen D, Shaye H, and Tahnee H and several veteran league players--Garry S, Justin V, Scott J, and Warren S. Despite the many new additions, John C refused to characterize the '09 season as a rebuilding season: "No, I wouldn't say the Hookers are rebuilding...that sounds too much like a built in excuse for failure. We'll win or lose with the talent we have...and though it's early, I like our talent. Furthermore, I want to publically welcome the new Pirates to the team..."

In previous years, the Dirty Pirate Hookers were known for lavish press conferences that among other things, welcomed new players to the team. "Our budget didn't allow for that this season..." said John C, "the sour economy effected our operations, too..."

In contrast to an offseason of change, the Pirates opened their season facing a familiar foe, Gold Coin Runnings (Cool Runnings), with a familiar result--a victory. Gold Coin Runnings were the perfect initiation for the new Pirates and indicative of the rough seas ahead. "They're always a good team--strong offense, tight defense...but I haven't lost to them yet..." said John C, "...and I told a few new Hookers that I didn't plan to start now..." In tried and true DPH fashion, the Pirates won with strong pitching, smart defense, and enough offense.

The Pirates opened the new season with a single to right center and a hard double through the hole by Scott J. Garry S ripped a double past 2B to plate his first RBI's as a Hooker. Gold Coin's response fell short while scoring only a run in their half of the 1st.

The Pirates offense started the top of the 2nd in auspicious fashion when Eric O, Kristen D, and Steve F reached by singles. Steve F's RBI single was all the offense the Hookers could muster as they left the bases loaded. With John C settling in on the mound, Gold Coin was shut out in the bottom of the inning.

The Pirates renewed their assault in the top of the 3rd and plundered 3 more runs on consecutive singles by Christina C and Scott J and a smashed double by Garry S for his 3rd and 4th RBI's of the day. A convenient walk to Steve F plated Garry S for the Hookers 3rd run of the inning. Gold Coin mustered an insufficient 2 run reply as John C regrouped from an opening triple and a pair of singles.

The Pirates pilfered no more runs through the 4th, 5th, and 6th innings. "We'd get runners on..." said the captain "...but we couldn't push them across..." Instead, the Pirates relied on their other strengths--pitching and defense--to maintain the lead through the drought.

Hampered by a tender quad, low draft, and a lack of talent, the captain shrunk a sure HR to a triple to open the top of the 7th. Fortunately, he was bailed out by his willing crew for a much needed insurance run. After a quick out to open the bottom of the 7th, Gold Coin plated a run courtesy of the bottom of their order. John C then coerced a pair of shallow pop ups out of the top of the order to secure the booty. After the game, the captain liked what he saw from the new Pirates while adding "Our offense was sluggish...we stranded too many base runners. Our defense was good, but I know it can be better...but that's minor stuff, it was a good win. The new Hookers did well..."

Game 2 pits the DPH against refugees from the Saturday League: Road Warriors.

Boxscore	1	2	3	4	5	6	7		R	H	E
DPH	2	1	3	0	0	0	1		7	9	1
Gold Coin Runnings	1	0	1	2	1	0	1		6	9	5

Player	Slot	Pos	PA	AB	H	BB	IBB	HBP	ROE	CI	OS	K	SF	S	EB	CA	GIDP	1B	2B	3B	HR	R	RBI	ROB	Avg	OBP	Slg
Todd S	1	LF	4	4	1	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	1	0	5	0.250	0.500	0.250
Christina C	2	2B	4	4	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	0	1	0	3	0.500	0.500	0.500
Scott J	3	SS	3	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	0.500	0.500	0.750
Colleen B	4	C/1B	4	4	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	5	0.000	0.000	0.000
Garry S	5	SF	3	2	2	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	2	4	4	1.000	1.000	2.000
Shaye H	6	3B/EH	3	3	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	0.000	0.000	0.000
Eric O	7	1B/EH	3	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	2	0.500	0.667	0.500
Kristen D	8	RF	3	3	1	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	3	0.333	0.667	0.333
Steve F	9	CF	3	2	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	2	5	0.500	0.667	0.500
Tahnee H	10	EH/3B	3	3	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	5	0.000	0.333	0.000
Mike F	11	EH/C	3	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0.000	0.333	0.000
John C	12	P	3	3	1	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	1	0	1	0	3	0.333	0.667	1.000
Totals:			39	35	9	4	0	0	4	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	6	2	1	0	5	6	42	0.257	0.436	0.371

DPH and Toyota of Clifton Park Opening Day

Softball Season is finally here!

Opening Day Schedule:

Dirty Pirate Hookers Game #1
April 30, Thursday, 6:00P, Bishop Maginn Field: DPH @ Gold Coin

Toyota of Clifton Park Game #1
May 1, Friday, 6:00P, Bleecker Field: New Era @ Toyota of Clifton Park

DPH Announces Its Men's Team

DPH Softball is proud to announce the launching of a Men's Softball Team. The team is generously sponsored by Toyota and Scion of Clifton Park and the team name is Toyota of Clifton Park. They'll play in the men's B3 division of Andy's Softball League.

"It's a perfect fit..." said GM John C, "both Toyota and DPH are known for quality products. DPH expresses its gratitude to Toyota of Clifton Park and to Steve F who secured the deal. Our goal is to win Toyota of Clifton Park a championship trophy..."

If you're in the market for a new or used car, please visit a Toyota and Scion of Clifton Park showroom for a good deal, quality cars, and quality service.

Toyota and Scion of Clifton Park

DPH Coed Softball

The formation of a men's team has not stopped progress on the DPH Coed team. Thanks to the efforts of Christina C, Steve F, and Mike F, the DPH enters another season with a very competitive team. "We look forward to doing what we do best..." said GM John C, "winning games and having fun..."

When asked about roster turnover, the GM said he wasn't worried. "The loyal DPH players are here...we have a good roster and retained many of our best players. I'm proud of the way Christina, Steve and Mike pushed forward with this. We also have some strong, new talent coming in. Change is part of the game and part of the fun. I'm excited for the start of the season..."

When the disappointing end to last season and the lack of a DPH fall team were mentioned, the GM said "I moved on from that...it's ancient history. I don't like what was done and how things happened, but so what? I wish the others best of luck with their teams and I hope they can find what they're looking for...but personally, I'm focused on playing and winning with this team in 2009."

League Affairs

As many of you are aware, much concern regarding our league was generated by this article from the Albany Times Union:

http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=778890#

The TU report was based on this public release from the NYS Dept of Taxation:

http://readme.readmedia.com/news/show/Albany-Bar-Owner-Faces-Felony-Tax-Charges/422653

For simplicity, I will present the full articles under the "Fair Use" doctrine.

From the Times Union:

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Albany bar owner faces sales tax charge

By DAVID FILKINS, Staff writer
First published in print: Thursday, March 12, 2009

ALBANY - A New Scotland Avenue bar owner faces multiple charges after allegedly failing to turn over more than $56,000 in sales tax money to the state.

State Department of Taxation and Finance officials said Andy Kung, 44, owner of Andy's Sports Bar, charged his customers sales tax for food and drink but failed to turn over the money he collected, which the state distributes a portion of to the county.

Kung, of Slingerlands, has been charged with second-degree grand larceny, a felony, and several counts of first-degree offering a false instrument for filing, also felonies, according to the state agency.

- David Filkins

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From the NYS Dept of Taxation:

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News from New York State Department of Taxation and Finance

For more information contact: 518-457-4242

Albany Bar Owner Faces Felony Tax Charges

ALBANY, NY (03/11/2009; 1636)(readMedia)-- New York State Department of Taxation and Finance Commissioner Robert L. Megna announced today that the owner of a bar on New Scotland Avenue was arrested recently on several felony tax fraud charges.

Andy Kung, 44, a Slingerlands resident and owner of Andy's Sports Bar & Grill on New Scotland Avenue in Albany, was charged with Grand Larceny in the 2nd Degree, a class C felony, as well as several counts of Offering a False Instrument for Filing in the 1st Degree, class E felonies.

A Tax Department investigation of Kung and his sports bar turned up evidence that Kung had charged his customers sales tax on the food and drink he served them, but failed to turn over the money he collected to the state, which then distributes a portion of the collected taxes to Albany County.

The criminal complaints allege that Kung filed false and fraudulent sales tax returns with the state, and failed to remit over $56,000 in state sales tax collections.

Commissioner Megna said, "The Tax Department is committed to exposing and prosecuting tax fraud. These crimes deprive state and local governments of legitimate tax revenue, and cheat customers of the sales tax they honestly paid. Especially during these difficult economic times, when both state and local governments are strapped, we are committed to insuring that all business operators play by the rules. Those who line their pockets with taxpayer money will be held accountable."

Kung faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted of the charges.

###

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We don't need a lawyer to appreciate the gravity of the charge, but before we cast aspersions toward Andy, we must remember that he is innocent until proven guilty. Despite 8 years of abuse by the previous administration, the Bill of Rights still exist. The 4th-9th amendments guarantee Andy and all of us due process, a public trial by jury and other important protections.*

It is naive, however, not to consider the potential impact of this charge to our league. To that end, the league has responded:

http://www.network54.com/Forum/196820/thread/1236899961/last-1236899961/LEAGUE+NEWS!!

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LEAGUE NEWS!!
March 12 2009 at 7:19 PM
No score for this post Frank Rogers, Commissioner (Premier Login cdfflwebsite)
Forum Owner
from IP address 74.76.148.51

After talking with the City of Albany and Andy's Sports Bar today everything is on schedule to start the league Monday April 27th. We have alot of new teams interested in joining so make sure you don't miss registration March 23rd and 24th. We have a competitor spreading rumors about the league for their own gain and we ask you to contact us (DPPI deleted contact phone numbers) with any questions or concerns.
frogers@nycap.rr.com

This message has been edited by cdfflwebsite from IP address 74.76.148.51 on Mar 12, 2009 11:23 PM

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Please notice the league response has been edited by the league.

Unless the NYS Tax Dept is starting a new softball league, the second part of the league response is ridiculous. On the other hand, the league president may be referring to the recent attempt by a rival league, Capital Region Men's Softball League, to attract Andy's League players; this attempt includes a rather suspicious email campaign.

Also, the league deleted a thread relating to the charges. That is their perogative, but why bother? The news is public information and the censorship by the league appears unscrupulous. Players and sponsors have a monetary interest in the league and are entitled to the information. As such, here is the text from the deleted post:

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Spring/Summer 2009?
March 11 2009 at 7:13 PM
Anonymous (Login B-Legs)
from IP address 74.76.166.102

Frank or Mike...Someone's gotta ask....Is this going to affect the league at all?

http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=778890#

Anonymous
(Login BHov)
67.242.195.14

More info...

http://readme.readmedia.com/news/show/Albany-Bar-Owner-Faces-Felony-Tax-Charges/422653

Scoring disabled. You must be logged in to score posts. Respond to this message

(Login CerealConcerned)
216.136.44.186
Of Course no answer
No score for this post March 12 2009, 3:09 PM

Of course there is no response face it people we have been ripped off and have been for years league fees increase and the only thing improved is field of dreams where no one but men's b1 and b2 play and the answer we get is they hit the ball further bs in my mind then why aren't there games a livingston or coyne those fields are way deeper than FOD just like the league fees increase and the beer we receive is lessened and quality is lessened from labbatt to coors light to effing keystone but wait you can upgrade to coors light for 1.50 a pitcher but if you buy the pitcher outright coors only costs .50 cents more hmm and who is to say that the league money isn't going to be used to pay off fines and other things of the like? Credibility has been seriously damaged here folks now i can't wait for the influx of "your a fag find another league" my response i already have eff you or the "uhh i give frank fellatio this is the best league ever" my response - eff you homo this is a shady run league and you are blind to it if any thinks that I'm paying a penny to this corrupt **** your wrong and guess what **** YOU IF YOU BASH ME YOU FAGGOTS

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The thread is presented in its entirety including the last rather rude and hostile entry. It's unfortunate the author of the last entry uses a pseudonym and lacks any semblance of grace or knowledge of the written language. I say unfortunate because many of his points have merit and are worthy of consideration. Criticizing the league--or anybody--in this manner is selfish and accomplishes nothing.

If the league had not deleted this thread, the confusing part regarding the response by the league president makes a bit more sense. But, we also notice he completely ignores the charge against Andy and any potential impact on the league--although he mentions the league is on track to start as scheduled. The insinuation is clearly caveat emptor leaving some teams sufficiently worried to explore registration in other area leagues.

This is all the information DPPI has collected to this point and we will present further information as a new post or as an addendum preceding this post. Our intention is to simply present information regarding our league in a fair manner. We do not represent the interests of any competing leagues or organizations nor do we wish to harm the league in any way. The article is based on unedited information freely available to the public.

If any league or state official wishes to remark or contest/correct facts presented in this article, please feel free to post a comment.

*As an aside, it strikes me as hypocritical for our government to muster the resources necessary to pursue alleged sales tax charges against a working person, but apparently it remains perfectly acceptable for our leaders to lie our nation into illegal wars of aggression, commit torture, kidnap "enemies of the state", execute "enemies of the state", and illegally spy on citizens.

Breaking: DPH set for major announcement

Insiders confirm the DPH is set to make a major announcement regarding the organization and its direction. Speculation is rampant, but most sources confirm this is not roster related. The announcement is expected either later today or tomorrow.

Rumor Central: A Spring team and big changes for DPH, Fall fallout

"The DPH is fielding a team this spring" according to GM John C. He cited an effective recruitment drive by Mike F and Steve F--"Mike and Steve are the reason why the DPH is able to field a coed team (this Spring)." He also acknowledged the return of many DPH veterans. "You can't have a team without loyal, core players..." John C confirmed other major developments taking place within the organization but refused to offer specifics. Some people connected with the team speculate major changes include a reorganization of management; other sources suggest a revamping of the roster is imminent. One insider believes much of the perceived roster turmoil indicates the DPH is preparing to launch a new team.

John C was asked to provide more information about his resignation from the Men's Softball Franchise. He was less than forthcoming, but did not deny fallout from the '08 Fall season as a reason; the DPH did not field a team last fall. Further, John C did not deny on field incidents and behavior issues influenced his decision. Also, despite recent charges implicating him, John C vehemently denied his name is one of the remaining 104 who tested positive for steroids. "Impossible..." insisted John C, "Have you ever seen me play?"

The hot stove is red hot, DPPI will continue its DPH coverage through the offseason, Spring training, and the '09 season.

BREAKING: John C resigns from Men's Softball Franchise

We have confirmed that John C resigned from his Player/Manager post with the Men's Softball Franchise. Details are unclear since neither John C nor team spokespersons were available for comment last night. The move appears unexpected considering the success the Men's Franchise enjoyed last year. The team was sponsored by Toyota of Clifton Park.

John C left with the highest winning percentage of any manager in Men's Franchise history.

Summer '08
16-3 record, .842 winning percentage

Fall '08
9-3 record, .750 winning percentage

Overall
25-6 record, .807 winning percentage

We will continue converage as details become available.

2008 Team Summaries

Dirty Buc Ho's

Team Season Grade: A-

The 2008 Coed C Summer Champs. What else is there to say? A special mention is deserved for the superlative season long pitching of MVP Deryl B. The MVP had a ridiculously low 3.20 RA and also held one of the leagues most fearsome lineups to a scant 4 runs over 7 innings in the Sunday Finals game.


Dirty Pirate Hookers

Team Season Grade: D+

The most disappointing of all the 2008 teams and the only John C managed team ever eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. The DPH had the talent to win it all, but were unable to capitalize on their prodigious faculty as several long time key players performed below their ability and history. Despite very good to excellent performances by some new DPH'ers, it appeared at times that there was a complete lack of desire and interest by some stalwarts. "My worst managing job..." noted John C.


Toyota of Clifton Park Men's, Summer

Team Season Grade: A

After losing much talent from the 2007 team, management was forced to quickly assemble a new core. Despite fears of diminished talent by some in management, John C saw potential for improvement and melded new with old to form a viable championship caliber team while compiling the best ever record for the men's softball franchise--including Hooters and Karrat sponsored teams. Previously, the men's franchise were perennial losers; they never advanced past the first round of the playoffs and their regular seasons were marked by mediocre records. Despite their mundane history, John C managed the team to an excellent 16-3 overall record. The team was eventually eliminated in the American Finals.


Toyota of Clifton Park Men's, Fall

Team Season Grade: B+

Faced with another large roster turnover due to normal Fall attrition, team management scrambled to find players. After a rough two game start, manager John C applied quick structural changes to the team; combined with the gelling/effective utilization of new talent and key contributions from mid-season pickups, the result was another championship caliber club. The team was eliminated in the 2nd round of the National League playoffs.

The Men's Team management thanks Toyota of Clifton Park for their generous sponsorship.

Team Records

DBH: 14-0; 1.000
Playoffs: 4-0

DPH: 12-5; .706
Playoffs: 0-1

Toyota of CP: 16-3; .842
Playoffs: 2-1

Toyota of CP Fall; 9-3; .750
Playoffs: 1-1

Regular Season: 44-8; .846

Post Season: 7-3; .700

Combined: 51-11; .823